I want a fob

Having read almost all of Christopher Moore’s books (that’s right, I can write and read at almost a second grade level — some would say I’m quite the catch) I was browsing his website for news and rumors. Like anyone who hadn’t quite grasped the concept of competition, he has a section solely for what he’s been reading. Maybe he’s just tired of people always asking for new books or maybe he just doesn’t care. Regardless, that’s where I came across this book.

Now, when I saw the title of this book, there was no stopping me, I had to have it. So I did the only thing I could and put it directly on my Christmas list. As the seventh item. Something tells me I need to make a priority of learning to prioritize. Which, as you can imagine, is a lot like trying to procrastinate procrastination.

But, back to the book which is every bit as good as the title would lead you to believe. Which is pretty darn amazing. For your reading pleasure, I’ve included a bit from the book where he talks about how there’s no joy in his girlfriend’s life:

“‘OK, look, for example, take our car alarm, right? There’s a little fob on the keyring and you push a button to activate or deactivate the car alarm. This is brilliant. You can fire it backwards to activate the alarm as you walk away from the car, even over your shoulder. And when you’re coming back to the car, it’s even better. You can see how far away you can be and still manage to get a hit — sometimes, right, if you hold the fob way up in the air, you can deactivate it from right across a car park! Or you can wait until you’re closer and just — pow! — fire from the hip; I wish we had central locking, so I got a fantastic “Chunk!” when I hit the target. Draw! Fire! Chunk! Brilliant! I’ve watched Ursula turn the alarm on and off, though, and it’s like she’s getting no buzz out of it at all. Imagine having to live in a world like that?’”

Thank you Mil Millington for letting me know I’m not alone. And for everyone reading this, you really need to read this book. But not in public. I found out, with many strange looks from the bartender, that this is not a good book for consumption in public. Let that be a warning. Especially the last chapter.

In the meantime, you should read his webpage which almost kept me from writing this entry.

And thanks to Mom for realizing that the seventh item on my list is actually the number one item on my list.

-d