My pointless conversation.

A couple of days ago, I created a new yahoo mail account under the guise of Franz Diefendorf and, I must say, I’m pretty proud of that name. It’s a good, strong, foreign name. Might even name my future dog Franz Diefendorf.

For a bit of fun, I emailed back Irina from my new account, she did sound pretty nice for a tramp after all.

First day came and went and I didn’t think anything of it. Second day and third day still nothing. What kind of spammer is this that doesn’t even respond when prompted? A bad spammer, that’s who. Clearly she’s doesn’t like Germans.

On the fourth day however:

Hello Franz!!!
Thank you for your letter.
I want to tell you something about myself in this letter.
My name is Irina. I live in Ukraine. In Kiev city.
My height is 170cm. I dont have children. I am feminine and tender inside of my heart.
I like a home comfort, warmth and calm in family relation.
I was born on 28 of February in 1982.
In 1999 I finished the school. Studying 5 years I finished the university.
I learnt English at the university.
I work as nurse as it is difficult to find the job of my speciality.
I live one. I write from cyber cafe, as I dont have a telephone at home.
Write me more about you.
What do you like? Have you got a family?
Children? What is your job? Do you like nature?
Have you got pets? Can you send your pictures?
I am waiting for your letter.

Irina.

Success! We have contact. Barely.

So I wrote back:

Hello Irina,

I’m very sorry.
I thought we had something special.
But my friends tell me you’ve been emailing them too.
I’m very hurt and sad now.

Franz.

Sadly. She responded with the same-style email and ignored my concerns. I thought she was caring and tender on the inside of her heart?

Such hopes for comedic triumph dashed. Next time I’ll find a better spammer to engage in a conversation with.

-d