Return of the Irina

After a long, long wait — I’d nearly given up — everyone’s favorite spammer finally wrote me back.

Hello dear.

Excuse that I did not write to you. I could not write as I had many problems in connection with my moving.
Now I’m fine and I at last have moved to Russia. Now I live in Russia I will write to you from here.
I really hope that you will write to me, to me really is very sad that I not could to write to you earlier.
I do not wish to lose contact to you and I hope that you will answer me. I will wait your letter and I with pleasure will answer all your questions.

Irina.

And my usual response:

Dear Irina,

Please forgive how long it took for me to write you as I know you are very tender but I could not as I was away tending to my banana plant. They are also very tender.
In way of apology, I think I will consider this plant our son. Do you prefer the name “Dr. Banana” or “Señor Banana”?

I look forward to your answer in the naming of our son.

Franz.